Grief without Death

I find myself crying a lot lately. Not because I'm sad, or depressed. But just because at times I find life right now overwhelming. Each day the news is too much to take. I try to shut it off, but there is really no shutting it off at all. It is always there, no matter how much I try to divert my attention. Life has changed. Everywhere. For everyone. The entire planet. It is almost inconceivable.

  And those adults and experts in charge? They are scrambling.

  We can only now protect ourselves.

So, how can we do that? Stay home? Wear masks? Stay away from groups? Wash our hands a lot? Ok, we can do those things. Some of us want to, and others do not. But we get through our day hopefully without contracting anything. Or spreading anything. Whew.

  But what about inside? Our psyche, our bodies. How do we protect that?

I know, there are a million suggestions out there. Eat right. Walk more. Read a book. Take vitamins. Get sunshine. Blah, blah blah. They say those things to anyone going through anything. It doesn't help for long.

That feeling in the pit of our stomach. It stays.

So what is it?

 I think it is a hybrid of grief. We are grieving so many things right now. I also think part of it is feeling homesick. Remember that feeling? You would be all excited to go to a sleepover at a friends house. But then suddenly you want to go home. And that's it. I want to go home. Home to what felt safe in the world. But we cannot go there now. And that is a loss to grieve. So, go ahead and feel the loss. Embrace the homesickness. Lean into your grief. We are all in this together. All collectively grieving, in one form or another. Whether that be denial, anger, sadness, depression, over-eating, trying one diversion after another, whatever that may be. But just be true to your own feelings.  Take care of them in your own true way. 

Much love to you as we bravely soldier on.

 

 

 

"All the art of living lies in fine mingling of letting go and holding on." ~ Ellis

"Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders. That's why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day." ~ Edward Hirsch

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." ~ C.S. Lewis