Know thy car, know thyself.

Someone once said that life is a series of dogs. Probably true. But I think that life is really a series of cars. Not everyone has a dog. But everyone, at one time or another, has owned a car.

Remember your first car? The thrill of it? The picture I added is a reasonable facsimile of my first car, a 1970 Ford Thunderbird. Of course, mine was used, about 7 years old. And pretty beat. But I loved it. So many memories I have from driving that car.

I have had many cars since then. And each, if I really think about it, has a story to tell. As a matter of fact, you could probably chronicle my life with stories from each car.

We think that cars just get us from one place to another. And perhaps that is true. But maybe how they get us from one place to another is not always just about transportation.

My first car was just that, my first car. My ride. In and of itself, it wasn't anything special. But it signified freedom to me. Freedom to go places I wanted to go. It was a heady time. A time of expanding my horizons, even if that just meant driving to the other side of town.

After a while, that car proved to be unreliable. So, I bought a safer car. Nothing fancy; small and compact. I was still in school and needed something reliable. Or at least my dad thought I did.

But after I was done with school and I was working as a full-time nurse, and thought of myself as quite independent, I bought a bright red Honda Prelude. Sporty and fast. I loved that car. It went fast and I drove fast. Sunroof. Stereo blaring. Just pure fun. I was footloose and carefree and so was my ride.

I also started to notice other people's cars. Especially guys I would date. Guys with neat, orderly and pragmatic cars always somehow bored me. Something about pragmatic and orderly just didn't work. Nor did flashy or junky.

Think about the cars of your past. Do they tell a story? Maybe you thought you weren't paying attention or that I am just being silly. But I will bet if you think about it, a story will unfold.

The cars in our lives hold many memories. The car you are driving today with your kids inside will have many stories for them to tell after they are all grown up. Think about that. What memories are you making?

Goodness, I can remember all of my dad's cars. Trips we made in them. How I learned to drive in one of them. Everything. I can remember the smell, how I slept in the backseat on long road trips, how my mom always packed a box of travel things with a big tan thermos full of ice water. Geesh, I haven't thought about about that in years.

I can think about and relive parts of my own life through my cars. The sporty car when I was a free spirit, the Mercedes----that was a more obnoxious time, and now, of course, the ugh.....minivan.

But the minivan, which I have had for several years now, loathing each day I drive it, is all about my daughter and car pools and dogs and road trips. This minivan that I loathe will be a source of many, hopefully happy, memories for my daughter. Really, it will. Amazing, isn't it?

So, look at your car and the cars of your past, not just as vehicles, but as an extension of who you are and who you have been. Cars bring back so many memories when you sit back and think about it; some good, some bad, some scary, some maybe even traumatic. It tells stories about who we have been or tried to be, where we have been, who we are now and who we wish we could become perhaps sometime in the future.

What story does your car tell?

We think of a car as a means to get from one place to another. And that may be true. Nothing more than an object we own out of pure necessity.

But maybe, just maybe, they are more than that.

Something to think about as we drive yet again tomorrow.


A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries

The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond. ~Edward McDonagh

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~E.B. White, One Man's Meat, 1943

Take it slow now and again.

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

Do you remember this Simon and Garfunkel song? It is actually called "The 59th Street Bridge Song" (Feelin' Groovy). It was released around 1966. When I was 6. When I took things slow. When an afternoon felt like an eternity.

I was not thinking about this as I went for a walk with my daughter this evening. As we were walking, I thought instead about all the things I wanted to do this week, before I had to work again on Thursday. You know, that perpetual to-do list in our heads.

We had been talking and then I was silent, thinking about all those errands, all those to-dos. My daughter suddenly turned to me and said, "Why aren't you talking anymore?" We had been enjoying a nice walk on a beautiful evening and I was suddenly far away, far ahead of today.

And then that song popped into my head.

We do indeed move too fast. Always trying to stay on top of things. Getting things done. Planning. Thinking about tomorrow or next week or next year. Living in tomorrowland and ignoring what matters today.

"You are right," I told her. And I returned to now and we talked about nothing in particular and we had a lovely walk.

You have to know that these spontaneous times are the ones that our kids remember. I cannot tell you all the adult children I see at the bedside of a dying parent that say to me, "I wish I had spent more time with mom. But she was always so busy."

I don't want my child to be that adult.

And I don't want to be that mom.

So, some may view it as wasting time, just hanging out and doing nothing. I may become known as a slacker. I don't really care. I know that I have a lot to do. And I probably won't get it all done anyway. And my basement may stay a mess and the clothes will pile up and my car may be dirty, and even a bill ot two may be late. But I will try to slow down and think like I did when I was 6 or 8 or even 15.

Like today was the only day that mattered.

Because it really is true.


Life is short, God's way of encouraging a bit of focus.
~Robert Brault

Why always "not yet"? Do flowers in spring say "not yet"?
~Norman Douglas

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.
~Diane Ackerman

Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses?
~David Brin

Own your life.

If there is one thing I have learned by being a hospice nurse it is this. We need to own our own life while we can.

We think we do own it. But we really don't. Our work owns it. Our debt owns it. Our responsibilities own it. Our family owns it. Our illness may own it. And we cannot always do anything about that, it is true.

But there is always a piece of ourselves that we should own. Just us. Alone.

It is not a selfish thing to do this. It is necessary. Like breathing.

I see so many people who have had their lives taken over by an illness. They wish they could have their life back. They are sick of treatment and doctors and they hate it when I come to their home. We have all taken over their life. And they feel like they have lost all control.

But as sad as that is, I see relatively healthy people walking around in the thick of their lives, who don't own their own lives either. And that is even sadder. They are unhappy. They complain more than they smile. They see everything as a problem to solve or an obstacle to overcome. Even vacations are stressful. Everything is a burden. They don't own even a piece of themselves.

Here is the simple truth. Life ends. It does. And not just with death. Walk into any nursing home and you will see that. So, amidst the responsibilities of everyday life, grant yourself something that belongs to only you, while you can.

Don't let your everyday busy-ness own you or define you. Find something to own and hold on tight to it. And find a bit of time in your hectic day to revel in the wonderfulness of you. Your life. Yourself.

Take a minute today to think about what you can own that is truly just about you. Think about your needs and how you can fulfill them even if it is only inch by inch. Check in with yourself occasionally to see what your needs really are. Sometimes we get so caught up with everyone else's needs, we forget our own.

You are really special. You may not have noticed, but it is true. There will never be another you. You will never have another life.

So, own it while you can.

The ultimate folly is to think that something crucial to your welfare is being taken care of for you. ~Robert Brault

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. ~James Allen

Jack Palance: "Do you know what the secret of life is? One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit."
Billy Crystal: "Yeah, but what's that one thing?"
Jack Palance: "That's what you've got to figure out."
~From the movie City Slickers

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.
~Thomas Carlyle

Be a generous listener.

When was the last time you dropped what you were doing, stopped thinking about what you were thinking, sat down, really looked at someone, and listened. Listened not just with your ears, but your eyes and your heart as well.

Think about that. We all think we are listening all of the time. And certainly we hear things. But are we truly listening? Would people say that you were a good listener if someone asked them?

I was at a patient's home the other day. There was a lovely woman lying on a hospital bed, about 88 years old. She was unresponsive. She was in the living room of a very well worn home. All the furniture had been moved out, except for two chairs that sat next to the bed.

In one old chair sat a man, about the same age. He looked weary. He asked me to sit down on the other chair to tell him news that he certainly did not want to hear.

He talked to me about his wife of 68 years. Talked about places they had lived and had traveled to. Talked about how they raised their 3 kids and about the grandchildren and great grandchildren they now had. I sat and tried hard to listen.

I had 3 other patients to see that afternoon. None close by, miles apart and it was raining. Then I thought about how I had to rush over to my daughter's school to pick her up and after that I had to go to the grocery store. Then I started thinking about dinner.....

Anyway, the man was still talking to me. Then he said something that I don't think I will ever forget. He said, "What I will miss the most when Martha dies is her uncanny ability to be a generous listener."

That caused me to pause. A generous listener. One who gives the time and energy to listen. One who makes one feel that they are really, truly being listened to.

How many times have you had a conversation with someone and they say, "Are you listening to me?" How many times have you looked at your watch or your phone while your daughter was telling you about her day? How many tasks are you trying to finish while talking to someone on the phone? Did you really have a conversation with your husband last night or were you just talking at one another while watching TV.

Let's face it. We are not always generous listeners. We like our conversations short and to the point. Email, texting and Facebook have become the new ways of communicating and staying in touch. Simple short blurbs.

Communication, yes.

Listening, no.

So, think about how you rate as a listener to the people who mean the most to you. Think about how you look as you stand or sit and talk to someone. Are you really engaged? Do you make eye contact? Are you really, honestly caring about what this person has to say?

Check your body language. Do you have one foot tapping or out the door. Are you looking around to see who is coming or going. Are you nervously clutching your Blackberry or iphone. Are you silently thinking about your to do list. Are you really, honestly present?

We listen with our whole selves. And people notice when we are not.

Mr. Smith noticed. He knew that I was thinking about something else. Even though I sat there, leaning forward and looking straight at him, he knew. He just knew.

And it made me sad. And I am sure it made him sad, too.

We will never know the impact we have on others. We try to be giving to those we love or care about, but many times we fall short of the mark. Sometimes we don't know what to give or how to give it.

Time and attention is what most people crave. It is true. Usually nothing more than that.

So be a generous listener. It is a pure and genuine gift. So give it freely and often.

To listen is an effort, and just to hear has no merit. A duck hears also.
~~~Igor Stravinsky

Can we flee from disease?

We would like to think that we can.

But it is almost next to impossible as we age. And that is the sad truth.

I see a lot of people of all ages who are sick, very sick. Many ate right, exercised, had parents that lived long lives. They went for annual screenings and were not overweight, never smoked. But they still got a nasty cancer. It happens. It does.

But I also see a lot of healthy people as well. Maybe not healthy in the true sense of the word, that being without disease, but functioning well and feeling good. They may have a problem such as diabetes, high blood pressure, GI issues or chronic pain. But they are able to rise each morning, take their medications and move along their day.

Most do this by symptom management. They take meds. They see their MD regularly. They watch very closely what they eat. They rest when they are tired. They self-monitor. Interestingly, they did not do all of this before they got sick. Sickness gives us a whole new perspective. And sometimes saves our lives.

We all want to be healthy. But biology is against us. And we have to stay very vigilant if we want to be as healthy as we can be.

It seems like every week or so, sometimes even daily, we are hit with a news article about a new superfood or supplement that prevents cancer. Or helps us to age slower. Or one that will keep us "healthy." Everyone is looking for the magic bullet

There are so many ways to get sick. Volumes upon volumes of books written about disease. It is amazing we live at all. But there is a common denominator when we think about disease. And that is stress. Our bodies just don't like it. Everything works overtime; our hearts, our vessels, our hormones. It is like sitting in a car going no where, just constantly revving the motor.

Bad for cars.

And bad for us.

So, if we want a real shot at fleeing from bad disease, or keeping our current disease in check, or allowing treatments to work properly, we have to reduce our stress.

Stress, interestingly, causes many of us to do the unhealthy to bring down our stress levels, thus stressing our stressed bodies even further.

We may smoke, take drugs, drink more, drive unsafely, ruin important relationships. We stop taking good care of ourselves, either exercising too much or too little, eating things that we may enjoy but certainly don't need in excess, or we may get too little sleep staying up late watching mind-numbing TV.

So, why isn't there more talk about stress as a health risk?

Here is why. Because you don't need to purchase anything to reduce your stress. And it seems that if there is no money to be made, then why talk about it at all.

So, I would say that the best way to live a long, healthy life is to look at your own stress level. What is it right now. What are you stressed about? And what can you do to bring it down a notch or two.

The number one thing that everyone can do, and it is free, is to breath. Take deep breaths. Breath in to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, breath out for the count of 4. Do it repeatedly. Let your shoulder's slump. Think of something pleasant.

It won't make the thing that is stressing you go away. But it can help to allow your body to deal with it in a better way. And that, in effect, keeps us healthier.

So, as ridiculous as it may seem, to stay as healthy as possible, breath. Pay attention to tense areas in your body and stretch. Go for a short walk. Drink some water. Smell something pretty. Listen to music. Look at nature more, even pictures help.

And let go of things that you don't need that are toxic to your lives.

We are all going to age. Our bodies will wear out a bit. Stress makes it wear out faster. Just remember that. And no potion out there is going to stop biology. It simply can't.

You really can't flee from disease. So, instead of trying to arm yourself against disease with the latest new whatever, disarm it instead by reducing your stress. It is free and we all can do it every single day.

So, what are you waiting for?

Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths. ~Etty Hillesum

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. ~Doug Larson

Releasing the pressure, it's good for the teapot and the water. Try it sometime. ~Jeb Dickerson

If your teeth are clenched and your fists are clenched, your lifespan is probably clenched. ~Terri Guillemets

A little seed that grows.

Think small. Planting tiny seeds in the small space given you
can change the whole world or, at the very least, your view of it.
- Linus Mundy

I copied this quote from a gardening website that I like to peruse. I like this quote and web-site a lot. But I wasn't thinking about gardens when I read it. I was thinking about a movie I watched last night instead.

In the movie "Inception," which is an action packed thriller about the act of stealing one's thoughts during dreams and the planting of an idea into a target's subconscious, was not the best movie I had ever seen. As a matter of fact, I thought the movie stunk.

But today, as I was going along doing my work, I kept thinking about that movie. Its premise. And about how we all are victims of inception, each and every one of us.

The definition of inception is this; an event that is a beginning; a first part or stage of subsequent events.

We all have had seeds of something planted into our minds at some point in our lives. Many times those seeds die out; a word tossed here and there that may have hurt, but never grew.

But many did not die out. Or maybe just one grew. Perhaps even a good one. But many of us have suffered from one small bad seed our entire lives. And it changes our reality, how we see ourselves, our world and our place in it.

Scary stuff. But in fact, true.

We like to think we are the creators of our own destiny. But the sad truth is that many of us suffer. And it may have all started with that one small seed.

I wish I had not seen that movie. I worry now what seeds will grow in my own daughter. We cast a lot of seeds to the wind, never really knowing which one might stick, which one might grow.

I read a story once about a girl who, when she was naughty, was punished by having her dad make a pretend phone call to a little girl named Diana. He told Diana what a wonderful girl she was and how he was going to buy her all sorts of presents because she was so good. He only did this a few times, mainly as a joke. He and his wife laughed about it. It was a long forgotten memory. An attempt to get a child to display good behavior that many young parents make.

When the little girl grew up, she thought she had forgotten about Diana. She never thought about it. She struggled with self worth, but was in therapy and on medication that seemingly helped. She was close to her dad and they spent many wonderful, happy years together. He was always loving and supportive of her. Overall, she loved her childhood and had many happy memories.

It wasn't until she had children of her own and watched as her dad was playing with them in her family room that it hit her. Suddenly, her heart steeled as she watched. And then a memory whispered, "Don't forget Diana."

We may never know what seeds we plant or when the seed was planted in our own selves. And we could spend a lifetime trying to figure it all out and never arrive at any true understanding.

I know I don't have any answers, that is for sure. But the movie, as much as I hated it, planted a seed in my mind that I hope will stay. That words and actions are powerful. That they can truly change lives. As innocent and well intentioned as they may be.

So, I guess my goal will be to plant as many good seeds as I can as often as possible and nourish them to help them to grow. Hopefully, they will choke out the weeds that I will also inevitably plant as well.

I will end this post with a little gardening tip from a book for kids about growing healthy plants:

Seeds are the basis of all plants. That's how they come into this world. Without seeds, there would be no plants.

The basic things a seed needs are light, food and water.

Water is essential to all living creatures.

When the area their roots are in becomes dry, some plants will grow roots out to find a new source of water.

A seed has all the things that the growing plant needs. It has a covering, a protective outer layer that helps keep it from damage, and a good supply of food for the newly sprouted plant.

A seed is a little package of survival.


My green thumb came only as a result of the mistakes I made while learning to see things from the plant's point of view. ~H. Fred Dale

Respect Yourself.

Definition of Respect:

To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed.

To consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor.

How many of you have respected yourself today? Have regarded yourself as worthy this week? Have honored yourself in anyway lately? How about yesterday. Or last month.

Probably not. But you should.

Perhaps we are waiting for someone to respect us first. Or to compliment us or to even just take notice of us. But we are then putting the power of respect for ourselves in the hands of others.

That seems to always be a mistake. Yet we do it time and time again and are always disappointed.

People are always disrespecting themselves for one reason or another. And when a compliment does come their way, they feel as though they don't deserve it somehow. Or that the person complimenting them is just being nice or polite; that they don't really mean it at all. But we should not wait for others to validate us. We should use our own power of self respect instead.

Don't think you have power? Don't think that respect is powerful?

How about the power of a smile. If someone looks you in the eye and smiles at you, how does that make you feel? How about when they grumble at you or are rude? How does that make you feel? Those people, they have power.

But so do you.

And that is just another reason to respect yourself. You are powerful. You can make or break someone's day. You probably do it a lot without even noticing your power.

Treating others with respect is important, but be especially respectful with how you treat yourself and your body, the inside of your body. The part that allows you to live. We are always so caught up with our outside appearance, never minding the inside. But the inside is what really counts.

We feel we may be too fat, too simple looking, too tired looking, too old looking, not pretty or handsome enough. And when we feel that way about what we see in the mirror, than sometimes we disrespect the inside of ourselves. We do it in a myriad of ways. Maybe by eating or drinking things we shouldn't. Maybe by not resting enough, or resting too much. Maybe by not getting to that mammogram appointment or to that dentist appointment. Maybe by not doing something nice for ourselves. Or perhaps even by being mean to others. And that can affect the inside more than we think.

After all, if we can't respect ourselves, that leaves little hope that we can truly respect others. When the well is empty, it is empty. So others cannot drink if we can't.

And it all stems from respect. Respect for self.

So practice respecting yourself. Even if you are not perfect, because you are not. None of us are. Respect your body by listening to it, by nourishing it with what it needs, not with what your brain wants.

And respect your power. Use it for good today. Go out of your way to smile more. Be happy. You should respect yourself enough to allow yourself to feel happy. Happiness is contagious.

We have told ourselves and others a million times that if we had just one wish for our kids, or for the people that we love, we wish for them to be happy. To live happy lives. But no one can be happy if they do not respect themselves. It just simply cannot happen.

So, forget about that extra 10 pounds you need to lose, or the creepy boss who scowls at you, or the new wrinkle you noticed yesterday. Respect the fact that you are not perfect, but pretty darn special anyway. Respect the fact that your body allows you to get up each day, walk, eat and drink, breath easily, see lovely things, read a book or that your arms are strong enough to hug those that you love.

Respect that wonderful body of yours.

Respect the fact that each day you are here, you make a difference.

Then, make one.

Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. ~~~Henry Van Dyke

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves; there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. ~~~Joan Didion

Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough. ~~~Gail Sheehy

Go Outside.

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
~Albert Einstein

By now we have all pretty much seen the devastation that occurred recently in Japan. Nature at its worst. Destructive. Deadly. Scary.

But nature is life. And many of us are seemingly removed from its beauty and awe.

And that is a shame.

I hate to date myself, but I spent pretty much most of my youth outside. I looked for and watched all sorts of things, even bugs; I actually watched ants carrying food into their anthill for hours. I sat in grass and searched for four leaf clovers. I clearly remember the smell of spring, the crispness of a fall day and ran outside with delight to catch the first snowflake on my tongue. I can remember playing in the rain on a summer day and splashing in puddles. Even as a teen.

And now? I don't do any of those things. Not really. And neither do many of us. Nor our kids.

Which is even sadder.

I am not sure what brought about this disconnect from nature. Maybe TV started it all. Or perhaps it was even further back, when clocks first started appearing. We used to tell our time from nature. From the sun and the moon, the stars, the seasons. We were in touch with the world and that was a good thing.

Once clocks became the way to tell time, we became prisoners to it. We ignore nature's call, and instead look to the ticking of an inanimate object to guide us. Why, we even change time so that we can have more daylight. Seems wrong somehow. Messing with nature like that.

Anyway, I guess the time change, the earthquake, the resulting tsunami and all that devastation got me thinking about all of this. About nature. And time. That and a blog I read about a guy and his dog who climb mountains near our home in the White Mountains of NH. And I realized, I have not climbed them. What am I waiting for?

I know. I am waiting for the right time to do it. When I have more time.

And that is where we all go wrong.

We think we will have more time. Someday. We are all just so freaking busy. There is so much to do, so little time. We just can't get things done. The clock is on the wall and on our wrists and lit up on our phones constantly telling us to hurry up, we are almost out of time. The clocks imprison us. We need to be somewhere, doing something. We have no time to waste. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

It is maddening.

And that is why it is time to go outside.

We need to get in touch with our own internal clocks, our own rhythm. We really are one with nature. And the more we remove ourselves from it, the more isolated we feel. More stressed. Not understanding ourselves anymore. Sometimes I think it makes us sick. Physically sick.

We need to take back our lives, our time. We need to own it again, just for a while.
For one day it truly will be gone. We will have run out of time. Our time. For real.

So turn off the phone, the tv, the computer. Take your watch off and look around. It doesn't have to be a mountaintop that you are looking out from. It can be just your own backyard. There is nature there as well. And don't look at what has to be done in your yard. Look instead at what is happening that is just part of nature. Look at how the trees know when to bud and bloom. The flowers now starting to come back up from the earth. Look at the grass getting greener, the birds flying and picking up twigs for a nest. They don't need a clock to know what they need to do.

And neither do we.

We just think we do.

When was the last time you left the drapes and windows open and let the sun awaken you? When was the last time you sat in grass or looked up at clouds or the stars.

I know it will soon be spring. The calender and the clock will tell us. But just go outside and let nature tell you. There are signs of spring all over the place. You just have to take the time to look.

I know that we have to keep track of time. We have jobs and kids and deadlines and responsibilities. But every once in awhile, we need to get back in touch with nature, with ourselves. With life. Real life.

So, just go outside. It is there waiting for you. It is as simple as that.


Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars; to be satisfied with your possessions, to despise nothing in the world except falsehood αnd meanness and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your admirations rather than by your disgusts, to covet nothing that is your neighbour's except his kindness of heart αnd gentleness of manners; to think seldom of your enemies, often of your friends and to spend as much time as you can with body and with spirit."
~~~Henry Van Dyke

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.
~~~John Muir

What humbugs we are, who pretend to live for Beauty, and never see the Dawn!
~~~Logan Pearsall Smith




Here is the link to the blog I mentioned, it is excellent:

http://tomandatticus.blogspot.com/

The luxury of complaining about nothing.

I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. ~Joe Walsh

All of us complain about things. Sometimes daily, sometimes several times a day. We complain about the weather, the traffic, our jobs, our kids, our lawns, our dogs. We complain about the price of things, the lousy meal we had last night or how bad our favorite team played. It never seems to end.

Sometimes it seems that we would not have much to say to each other if it weren't for complaining. And it seems to me that some people simply enjoy complaining and it has become one of their favorite pastimes.

What we don't seem to realize is how lucky we are to have the luxury to complain about such trivia.

I see so many people who have a lot to complain about. They are watching a loved one die. They are in pain. The services we lined up didn't go right for some reason. The hospital made a mistake. But the funny thing is, I seldom hear them complain. About anything.

It seems like when we really see how bad things can be, we realize we have nothing to complain about. All those things we thought were so important just simply vanish.

A patient summed it up this way as she looked out her window on a recent snowy, cloud filled day:

"Why did I used to complain about the weather all of the time? Now I am happy just to see another day. I could care less what the weather has in store. I am just glad to be here. But I feel like I wasted so much time complaining about it. Too cold, too hot, too windy, too much snow. Like the world was doing this just to make my life miserable. What I failed to realize was that I was making my own world miserable. I wish I could have those days back. I would never complain again."

There is wisdom in what she said. How many of us make our own life miserable by looking for things to complain about? Perhaps time would be better spent looking for things to rejoice about.

Anyway, pay attention to what you are saying. See if you can catch yourself complaining about nothing. And then, rejoice in the fact that you can.

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.”
~~~Horace

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
~~~Lily Tomlin

Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
~~~Proverb